A man once
said, "No one
sees your diary unless it's called Facebook; and if that's the case then don't
expect to keep your friends."1 That man was me, and
today it is these words upon which I wish to expand.
To break it down:
Facebook should not be used as a diary. You can get away with it once or twice,
but, eventually, you'll lose your friends (or get your posts removed from the
News Feed). Note: I have little proof that this happens, but the 'unsubscribe from x' button was implemented for a reason, and I certainly make the most of it.
"What do you
mean 'as a diary'?"
To answer that question, I point you to a term from the Urban Dictionary – whingebooking. “Someone uses Facebook as a ‘dear diary I hate my life’ platform on a regular basis […] Sufferers are often in a ‘complicated relationship’ […] or hate their job/partner/life, so most of their facebooking is negative and when challenged about it [they] will often whinge even more.”2 Here are a few examples:
To answer that question, I point you to a term from the Urban Dictionary – whingebooking. “Someone uses Facebook as a ‘dear diary I hate my life’ platform on a regular basis […] Sufferers are often in a ‘complicated relationship’ […] or hate their job/partner/life, so most of their facebooking is negative and when challenged about it [they] will often whinge even more.”2 Here are a few examples:
“FML.”
“I can’t imagine
this day getting any worse…”
“I just don’t care
anymore...”
“I’m going to kill
myself.”
“Seriously! I wish
people would just leave me alone!”
I’m sure you’ve
seen some of these before. They’re all the same: The person writing has
recently discovered that life isn’t perfect, and everyone on Facebook needs to
know about it. What’s odd is that if you enquire as to what’s wrong, they
either won’t respond or they’ll say something like, “Oh, it’s nothing…” or,
“Can’t talk about it now…” which begs the question: Then why the heck did you post it on Facebook? Logically, if they
aren’t going to respond to comments, then they shouldn’t have whined on a
social networking website; what they should have done was write it in their
personal diary.
But the reality is that someone’s been gossiping about them behind their back - this evidently means that life can’t get any worse - and they need to share this bleak truth with everyone they know (or everyone they think they know. They don’t know, for instance, that I’ve blocked them!) And the reason they demand those valuable kilobytes from everyone’s Internet is this: they want attention. What’s worse is it works; they get the attention they ask for. It seems that time and again a stream of people will come running to their rescue with comments such as, “What happened?” or “You okay?” or “Wanna talk about it?” to which they, of course, don’t reply, and which only encourage the poster’s attention-seeking behaviour, making them more likely to repeat it in future.
But the reality is that someone’s been gossiping about them behind their back - this evidently means that life can’t get any worse - and they need to share this bleak truth with everyone they know (or everyone they think they know. They don’t know, for instance, that I’ve blocked them!) And the reason they demand those valuable kilobytes from everyone’s Internet is this: they want attention. What’s worse is it works; they get the attention they ask for. It seems that time and again a stream of people will come running to their rescue with comments such as, “What happened?” or “You okay?” or “Wanna talk about it?” to which they, of course, don’t reply, and which only encourage the poster’s attention-seeking behaviour, making them more likely to repeat it in future.
Thing is, anyone
with half a brain (those who don’t comment on these posts) realises from the
outset that such people are seeking comfort in the form of ‘likes’ and “there
theres”, and any actual details are hidden so it seems like the person whinging
is suffering the worst fate imaginable. But they aren’t. In fact, their life is
no 'worse' than any other person with a home, food, clothes, Internet
and tertiary education thanks to excessive loans from the government. They
simply have unrealistic expectations of life. It’s true. People with problems
worth whinging about can’t afford the Internet to whinge on; people who truly want others to leave them alone wouldn’t be on
Facebook; and if you can’t imagine your day getting any worse, then please, try
being a quadriplegic, or getting fired, or living under a bridge with nothing
but the elements to keep you company.
Every time I see a
post like “I just don’t care anymore…” I am so
tempted to comment, but not with “Hope you’re okay” or anything like that;
rather, “You obviously do care if you’ve taken the time to tell the world you
don’t”, or “Stop spamming my news feed, please.” Of course, I never end up
commenting, but not because I’m nice. No, it’s because I know that it’s these comments,
comforting or no, which they want. These comments fuel their attention; so even
a rather blunt ‘look in the mirror’-like response could somehow reinforce their
Facebook diarying – their whingebooking.
So to those who’re
nodding in agreement as they read this: know that the best thing to do (at
least until a better solution is found) – and, believe me, it’s not easy – is
to say nothing and walk away. Yet for those whose stomachs churn with the
familiar tendrils of guilt – you know who you are – please, do us all a favour
and “face your problems, don’t Facebook your problems.”3
References:
