I ate raw chicken and lived

I'm watching two teachers converse, one on either side of the staffroom doorway. They do this at leisure, even as other staff enter and exit with regularity. Indeed, rather than move to a more stand-and-talk-friendly location so that passers-by do not create momentary obstructions to their chatter, the two who are talking remain right where they are, and the prerogative is on the passer-by to bow...

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A Giant in Japan

I've said it before that in Japan I have to duck to successfully clear thresholds. What I haven’t said is how significant this ducking needs to be. Last week I was sitting on the couch, doing nothing much. At some point I rose, took my phone to hand, began thumbing away a text, and began the necessary looking down at my phone so as to thumb it correctly. (What this means is my neck and head were...

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The sensei, the school, and the bitter cucumber.

It’s 4pm, school has finished, but the staff room is ever abuzz with teachers. To my left, Aizumi sensei graces a trio of sweat-smeared colleagues with two rigorously sweeping hand fans. On my right, Akubara sensei works the tape measure to see how, in millimetres, his height compares to mine. And in front of me, the vice principal stamps my work log before writing in the comment box, “Hot Matt!”...

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I Encountered a Sparrow Bee

"The stranger that greeted me today had three eyes, two antennae, six legs, and a buzz whose pitch caused the whole air to stop." Is that a sinister enough opening for this retelling? How about this: "I was exiting my car, finding the keychain button to lock it, and gazing with pride at my perfectly calibrated reversed parking manoeuvre when, suddenly, I saw movement…" Okay, whatever, on...

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At School I am Matt-sensei, but you can call me Tatami-san

As I sit at my staff room desk, writing this blog and sipping iced coffee, throngs of school children bottleneck at thresholds in their eagerness to die in the summer heat and have their corpses carried away by suzumebachi (Japanese hornets, or, literally translated, sparrow bee, because, you know, their size). Really, though, they’re preparing for sports day. View of Gotsu from the aquarium As...

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