Ten Reasons Why I'm the Most Ignorant Human Being Alive

Need someone to laugh at? No worries! I've compiled a list of reasons why you - yes, you - are more smarter and more better than me.

1. I never really know whether to 'bake' or 'grill' something. If it's sweet, I bake it. If it's savoury, I refer to the recipe. If the recipe says something vague like, "Cook at 180 degrees," I go nuts.

2. I googled how to change a tire one time when I had to change a tire one time --- only until I had the flat tire removed, though. The rest was self-explanatory. Heh.

3. I've never been on a bus besides a school bus.

4. I have almost zero geographical awareness. Almost. I've been brushing up, but I just can't shake that American-ness off of me.

5. Until a few years ago, I thought that the internet was some magical, invisible substance that floats in the air, which computers and whatnot can grab and interpret. Who knew that instead there are these massive, bulky wires that sit in the ocean, extending from country to country like a worldwide web!? Oh wait.

6. Until last year, I didn't know what a Hen Party was. Nobody tells you these things!

7. I know next to nothing about cars. I mean, I know more about planes than cars, and I hardly know anything about planes.

8. List of things I know about alcohol:
            a) Moscato is cheap and yum.
            b)

9. I'm half American Samoan, but I can't speak any Samoan. What I can do is switch up my accent.

10. To counterbalance my ignorance, I keep up with current affairs so that when someone asks me, "Did you hear about x happening at y?" I can say, "Yes."

What? Oh, don't you worry about me. I mean, if these are the only things I'm ignorant of, then life can't be all that bad, right? Right? Someone say something.