Thursday, 28 June 2012

Why the phrase "Like if you agree" is ridiculous

There comes a time in all of our lives when we're bombarded with an obstacle that serves little to no purpose and only manages to induce a level of frustration those on a tight schedule don't have the time to overcome. These include, but are not limited to, pedestrian crossings beside traffic islands; excessive use of road cones around something like a decent-sized shard of glass; and single...

Friday, 22 June 2012

Facebook Manipulation

I love the Internet. I really, really do. I mean, it provides an endless network of social media; it accommodates YouTube; it enables text, voice and video messaging from anywhere; and it sustains itself with ads, of which we usually only have to watch the first five seconds! It’s great! Which is why it’s a shame, a pudding-headed, nincompoopery, thrice-damned shame, that it’s the cause for a universal...

Sunday, 17 June 2012

The awkward “I know you from somewhere, but I’m not going to say anything unless you say something” look.

(A record of [largely fictional] thoughts depicting an actual event): July 17, 2012 4:10pm: Shopping is boring. I don’t like shopping. But it’s winter, and I need warm clothes. Plus I’m with a friend, which makes it less boring. 4:14pm: This mall is long. I'm bored. I want to play video games. Wait, is that… Hmm, the middle-aged stocky man advancing towards me - I think I know him. Yes!...

Monday, 11 June 2012

Common selfishness

Small talk. An essential tool for general human-to-human communication, yet constituting a type of mutual selfishness. In the twenty seconds of downtime between when you first see your doctor and he decides to get on with his job, he might ask, "How are you?" to which you respond with one of the following. "Good/fine/all right." "Good/fine/all right, thanks." "Good/fine/all right, thanks....

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Stop taking pictures of everyday food and putting them on Facebook

"You spent twenty minutes putting some ingredients together so you could feed yourself. How innovative!" "All this time I thought you were anorexic. Glad that's not the case." "You went shopping, bought a steak and cooked it? Please, allow me to bow down to the sheer excitement that is your life!" These are the kinds of thoughts that run through my mind when I see a photo of food someone's...

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