Grammar and Punctuation1:
a volatile blend of simplicity and complexity. Simple in purpose, yet
horrendously difficult to master. Each one of us knows what the term means - it
isn't rocket science - but when it comes to hearing its application, I
oftentimes close my eyes, picturing a cave occupied by men and women. They wear
the skins of primitive beasts, and their tools are a collection of stones and
bones. Fittingly, like the mammoth they slew and from whose bones they procured,
grammar and punctuation is too great a beast to simply tame. It must be laid to
rest.
Forsooth, some say that grammar
doesn't matter; that it is an old-fashioned mix of arbitrary rules belonging to
a minority who refuses to adapt; that those who claim to be well-versed are all
compensating for things of actual significance that they lack; or that it is
only relevant in some situations, like during a job interview or an exam.2
Such claims are bold, but they are
no bolder than the ones proclaimed from those who hold a different view.
Indeed, some would go so far as to say that grammar and punctuation might be the
Achilles heel of today's Western society.
To those who uphold the former-most
view, that language is changing, and that we ought to change with it: I agree.
Language is always changing, much like fashion. Yet, no matter the fashion,
there are standards; and in every instance, there is a scale ranging from
inappropriate to over-dressed, with just right sitting in the middle. It is the
same with grammar. There are standards, even today - standards that many
people would rather do away with. I might want to wear shorts and a tee shirt
instead of a suit to my wedding, but you would all gawk at me (or not attend) if
I actually did. Likewise, I gawk at the eight out of ten native
English-speaking people who can't differentiate 'have' from 'of'.
Granted, this comparison fails to
shed any light as to why grammar and punctuation matters in the strictest sense of the word, and it even appears to
support the claim that grammar is only important in some situations, like
during a job interview or an exam. Perhaps that is because this claim is spot
on. Just like most things, finely-tuned grammar only truly matters when its counterpart, poor grammar, bears unwanted
consequences. Applying sun block at the beach matters because, if I don't, I'll
get burnt. Correctly-punctuated writing matters in an exam because the
alternative is to lose marks. Following is a spam email I
recently received.
------------------
T-Mobile Nederland BV
Waldorpstraat 60,
2521 CC Den Haag,
The Netherlands.
online-client service.
CONGRATULATION!
From T-mobile NL we are proud to inform you that your email address have
won you 850,000.00euros from our online anual coordination.
Chose an option which you will like to receive your winnings presenting
along side your winning reff number: NL/VV5-421/0031012.
(1). Come to the Redemption centre here in the Netherlands.
(2). On-line Bank Transfer
(3). Courier Delivery service
Congratulations once again.
Regards,
Robijn van-kloose.
Award Coordinator for T-mobile NL
------------------
A sore thumb is a grave
understatement in illustrating just how jarring this email is to anyone with
half a brain. Indeed, it is completely submerged in discrepancy. You might have
noticed that the word in capitals is missing a letter. Just one letter of a
fifteen-letter word, yet we all notice it, and I'm sure we would all agree that
it is unacceptable. Even with the 'S', the word itself, capitalised to grab the
reader's attention, is a tell-tale sign of spam, yet the typo (I'll give them
that much) is icing on the cake. Then there are 99 others. You see, even if I
would have been so easily fooled, this one slip up is the ultimate sacrifice of
credibility.
Credibility. It matters.
Things that uphold credibility:
research, enthusiasm, confidence, good grammar.
If you can't back up a claim,
prepare to be criticised. If your tone is dry and stale, prepare to be ignored.
If you sound as confused as the people you're trying to instruct, prepare to be
questioned. If your grammar is atrocious, then you can forget about everything
else; you're going in the spam folder! Essentially, in all cases where you want
to be taken seriously, strong grammar and punctuation strictly does matter.
 |
| via cheezburger.com |
But what about in all other cases? Does grammar matter on Facebook, on Skype, or in casual emails? Your first
response might be: no, it doesn't. You have nothing to prove on these mediums;
you type like you talk; and there is no reason to put any effort into it. Fair
enough, I say. And once again, I completely agree. In fact, I see no need to
comment on the structure of someone's imperfect Facebook status when there
isn't any pressing reason for them to write it correctly. If everyone
understands it, and it makes sense, then that's all that matters. My hope is
that, in cases where grammar does matter, they know what to do, and they'll get
it right.
There is a difference, however,
between a man who knows better but simply doesn't care, and a man who strives
to get his grammar and punctuation correct, yet falters at the last word. My view
is that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. In other words, it's only
when there's a genuine mistake that I consider addressing the author. In such a
case, my train of thought plays something like this: "If John has made a
grammatical mistake despite making an effort not to, then he is likely to make
the same mistake at a later time when it may prove detrimental." What is
the next step upon this realisation? Do I point out the food caught
between his teeth, or do I leave it unnoticed, hoping that he won't be too
embarrassed when he eventually gets given a mirror?
In essence, grammar and punctuation
on mediums like Facebook doesn't matter, or at least it wouldn't matter if
these social mediums were the be all and end all of communication. But they
aren't. Eventually, you will write something - a report, an essay, a personal
statement - in which your understanding of grammar and punctuation will be your
backbone. A good performance requires practice. Whether or not your grasp of
English needs a polish is entirely up to you. Perhaps you know it well enough;
but when it comes down to it, will you know where to place the apostrophe, if
any? Should there be a comma before the quotation, or not? And can you properly
distinguish its and it's, or there, their and they're? Your lecturer can. Your
employer can. If you can't, then teach yourself. Google it, learn it, then
practise it.
Facebook, text, email - they might not matter right now, but they
will matter when it's too late. For the sake of a job interview or exam, it's not unheard of to, you know, prepare.
For those times where grammar and
punctuation strictly matters, every other instance may or may not matter in
retrospect. It is your call to make. But it's all part of a constitution, and
governing that constitution is a language that probably stems from your
childhood. Do you remember? You learned a 26-letter alphabet, and you came to
appreciate 26, not 25, distinct characters as the building blocks for communication.
Today, not once do you forget one and replace it with more of the others. You
accepted the whole package. It was either that, or nothing at all. Creating
your own language, choosing your own rules, it doesn't work. You speak English,
a constitution complete with standards and guidelines. Typing "your"
when you mean "you're" is like spelling CONGRATULATIONS without the
S. It's incomplete and, quite frankly, irresponsible. This, my friends, is why
grammar and punctuation matters. It's the same reason the letter 'S' matters in
the English alphabet. Forget everything else. You can punctuate and spell how you like on Facebook; you
can rebel against your employers with a typo-ridden resume; but you can't then
call it English. English has 26 letters; it has spelling and grammar rules; and
it has punctuation marks.
If you say "should of" or
"yous" or "Some-think", then by all means, keep saying these
things. I trust you of all people are the smartest of us all, for your grasp of
language is so firm that you feel confident to play with it, as if the
tendon above the heel bears no limit to its stretch.
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1. As both nouns are part of the same constitution, I'm treating them as a single term. For instance, "Parks and Recreation" IS a TV program.
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7E-aoXLZGY I love this!
I have to report a crime. I… I've
done something… terrible.
