I
have put together a list of eight words that, quite simply, aren't
words. If you say/write them, you should probably stop. Some are spoken correctly but spelled horrendously, while others on paper look fine, but when spoken, make the earth cringe.
(Yes, every time you misspeak a word, somewhere, there's
an earthquake).
It
would be a top ten, but the highest ranking, 'yous' and 'totes', have achieved
such infamy that they each have a post of their own. Links are at the bottom.
As promised, here are the other eight.
Alot
Alot is not aword. Neither is apony
or apoptart. Weird, right?
Aswell
It’s ‘as well’, with a gap for
personal space in between.
Alright
You might not get the red underline
for this one. Know why? Because it’s so disgraceful you should know better.
‘All right’ - now there’s a breath of fresh air.
Aks
As in, "Aks him for the
cash."
It's entirely possible that at some
point in my past, I heard this very command and thought, To what culture does this person
belong? Surely killing is illegal there too, right? More importantly, why do
they always axe their friends? Note to self: do not befriend this person.
Then it hit me. Oh, they
meant 'ask'. Yet I folded my arms, brow creased. Note
to self: do not befriend this person.
Dieing
Just look at the three vowels in
the middle there and tell me that it makes even a smidgen of sense to pronounce
that mutation of letters as ‘die-ing’. I’d probably go for ‘deeeng’, like a
doorbell with an Australian accent.
(The correct spelling of the word that describes someone whose health is presently waning to
the point of no longer living is ‘dying’).
Ragland
When someone says "Ragland," I think
of a meadow filled with old shirts and car engine-stained flannels, and then I
say, “Oh, you mean Raglan. Yeah, sure, let's go.”
Some-think, any-think and every-think
A friend who needs better arguments
recently uttered that words ending in ‘ing’ are sometimes pronounced with a ‘k’ stuck to the
end to help conclude without having to trail off, since the ‘ng’ on its own
doesn’t really 'finish'. I remained unconvinced, replying that any word ending
with a vowel doesn’t ‘finish’, and therefore we should add a ‘k’ to them, too. (I
was being sarcastic. Don't even think about it.)
Also, no one says 'think' when they
mean 'thing'.
Some-pink
No one says this, either, except my
childhood neighbour friend. He had a permanently-blocked nose and parents who
didn't feel the need to correct him. He was trying to say “something”, but his
‘th’ became ‘p’, and then he added the ‘k’ like an epilogue to his
verbal diarrhoea. I must have lost my note.
-------------------------
Totes
Yous
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