Introvertedness is a complicated term. It's also not a word. Needless
to say, a few paragraphs about social energy are hardly sufficient to clearly
explain the complicated relationship introverts have with their given state of 'limited social capacity'. So, here are some things to consider.
There are those who think they're extroverts (and everyone
else also thinks they're extroverts), but, really, they aren't - at least, not
entirely. Cynthia, a friend of mine who socialises nonstop and has far too many
friends, recently told me that her energy for them is limited like mine,
except, until now, she's never admitted it. She's like a fish with too much
food, except she hasn't died… yet. You see, next to her social energy tank
is an inability to say 'no'. One too many yeses later and she's wondering why
she's feeling so drained. Tsk tsk, young Cynthia. "True courage is about
knowing not when to [be social], but when to [not be social]." Then I proceeded to give her a sword.
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| via Memecenter |
There are those whose introvertedness clashes with
their fear of missing out. I'm one of these. I'll be playing a game, or
watching a film when some intrusive friend decides to message me, "U shld
come ova 4 a bbq @ Zed's plce! We gt salad, but nd meat." Up until this
point, I would be content doing next to nothing. But now that there's a social
event going on, I'm torn between accepting and declining, never mind the dwindling energy bank! Something about, "I can watch this film or play that game
at any time, but I can't summon barbecues quite so easily. Also, people
die."
Added to all this is the issue of who to hang out
with. Think of each relationship you have with someone like its own slope. Some
friends are easy to get along with. You can be yourself, say whatever, embrace
awkwardness rather than shy from it, and there are no lengthy good byes, which
are also awkward. These are the downhill-sloped people. They don’t drain social
energy. They give it. By contrast, there are those with whom you don't really
relate, those who'll stop listening if you talk about anything other than panel
beating, or those who will probably judge you for having an interest in
biodegradable objects. It quickly becomes a chore to talk to these folk. Some of
them will drive you insane! These are the uphill ones. And in between the two are
those who don't really give or take energy. Perhaps they don't talk much;
perhaps they're mute. In any case, they're flat, like Hamilton
If anything, be grateful when your introvert friend shows up.
More often than not, they decided that spending time with you would be more
worthwhile than not spending time
with you, and they went to the effort to do so. Believe you me, there's always
effort involved. You know, you have to go uphill before you can go down again.
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