A friend of mine
recently published the first edition of her magazine, Blacklisted. I wrote a column
as part of the content, and now that the magazine has been printed, I'm allowed to
post the column on here!
---------------
Limbo
Fire and Ice
The warmth of my bedcovers is like the perfect fire, soft light
flickering off the log-cabin walls. I could sleep forever on this recliner;
listen...
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
Wednesday, 11 September 2013
Dream Logic: Brian, Matt and Nicole join a cult
It's super rare when I
remember next to every detail of a dream. Yet, on one fateful morning last year, I woke up and remembered everything. It was a satisfying dream, satisfying and funny. So I grabbed a pen and paper and hurriedly scrawled everything down before I forgot. This week I rediscovered the paper, and henceforth adapted it into a story.
In Wonderland, Dream Logic makes your...
Tuesday, 3 September 2013
Just for the lolz
Text communication is a wonderful
thing. Obviously. Writing is communication, and I love to
write. Unfortunately, a casual text conversation does not account for body
language or tones of voice, most notable when it comes to one word responses
like "lol", or short phrases like "okay then". Such
comments are useful and quick, but they're also terribly vague; and, more often than not, they...
Sunday, 28 July 2013
The difference between 'a' and 'an'
A lot of us get to thinking that there exists this arbitrary rule within the English language that enforces people to say 'an' when the word following it begins with a vowel.
For instance, we say, "An artichoke" and, "An umbrella", but the gurus of language didn't intend us to do so simply because "we have to use 'an' when the next word starts with a vowel." That would be like saying, "The...
Friday, 12 July 2013
Everything in my life happens in twos!
Hear me out. It's more a theory than a
hypothesis, you know, because it's been tested. A hundred times, even, and a hundred
times it's happened. When a thing occurs in my life, it occurs again.
Everything in my life happens twice!
Last week the keyboard tray on my computer desk fell apart. Just
fell apart. The screws had been loosening themselves, I guess, and all at once
three of them popped...
Friday, 5 July 2013
My smartphone is a culmination of first world problems
I swear that my phone hates me. I've come to believe that it's teeming with thousands of tiny first-world nanomites that refuse to vacate their nest whenever I'm forced to open my phone and fiddle with the battery.
I try to console myself. Think realistically. Be grateful. I mean, none of us is free from the gripes and annoyances that make our lives slightly less convenient. For some it's that dishwasher...
Friday, 28 June 2013
Wacky things we get told to believe, for no real reason
Case One
One rainy day during high school, I was sitting inside, eating my lunch when Jeanne, a fellow student, decided to educate me.
She'd obviously noticed that I'd peeled my banana like any normal person would:
But it wasn't good enough for her. She approached me, placed her hands on her hips and declared, "You're supposed to peel it from the other end." By 'other end', she meant this:
"Why?"...
Thursday, 20 June 2013
Why I didn't study at the Auckland University of Technology University
It was late last year when indecision plagued my mind. The days were becoming longer, the air warmer. Summer was coming, and I had no idea what to do with my life! After much
indecision and frustration, a plethora of infinite possibilities was hammered
down to a much more surmountable two. The options were:
1.
A Masters in Creative Writing at AUT
2.
An Advanced Diploma in Applied Writing at Northtec
Both
were...
Sunday, 9 June 2013
When to use (and not to use) quotation marks
The marks of quotation are perhaps the
easiest marks of punctuation to use, yet so often they lead only to destruction. You
know what else leads to destruction? Walking on your face.
Compare man walking on his face with man walking on his feet.
Silly, yes? That's because it's
easy to walk on your feet, and impossible to walk on your face. For starters,
you'd need to have two faces...
Wednesday, 29 May 2013
Speaking with robots will be socially awkward
Sometimes I ponder what the future
might be like, you know, after I'm dead. I think about the things I'll never
get to experience, which you might argue impossible, since I've never
experienced them. Either way, it's kinda sad.
Recently I thought of
those annoying automated phone operator thingies that force you speak to make
conversation with them. They suck, mainly because I never know what to...
Tuesday, 23 April 2013
Ten Reasons Why I'm the Most Ignorant Human Being Alive
Need someone to laugh at? No worries! I've compiled a list of reasons why you - yes, you - are more smarter and more better than me.
1. I never really know whether to 'bake' or 'grill' something. If it's sweet, I bake it. If it's savoury, I refer to the recipe. If the recipe says something vague like, "Cook at 180 degrees," I go nuts.
2. I googled how to change a tire one time when I had to change...
Monday, 25 March 2013
The pros and cons of wearing prescription contacts
While cooking dinner last week, I noticed I wasn't tearing up while cutting onions. Granted, 'tearing up' is a bit of an exaggeration, but, to clarify, I was completely unaffected. Then it dawned on me: I was wearing contact lenses.
Then, because I've worn them for seven years, and because cooking was relatively unexciting, I thought of a pros and cons list for wearing said lenses!
Pro:
Since...
Sunday, 3 March 2013
Why you shouldn't bake "Ferri bread" (a goodbye letter)
A good friend of mine recently moved to Melbourne. Her departure was rather sad, so I wrote her an even sadder goodbye letter,
a) because writing is fun,
b) to appease the boredom she would otherwise experience in-flight, and
c) writing a list of in-jokes is lame; they're much better when they revolve around a tragic story depicting death and Titanic-inspired shipwrecks.
Not to fear:...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
