The 'Yous' Epidemic

Childhood was a nightmare. School bullying; cat got run over; broadband was called something like 'dial up'; and there was the unforgettable epidemic of 'yous'. Not 'use', 'yous'. As in, "I'll give yous a gold star if yous'd learn to speak English." Eugh! Enduring the profanities of those whose pastimes it was to pick on kids richer than them, and for whom I felt sorry because it gave them little...

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Introverts 201

Introvertedness is a complicated term. It's also not a word. Needless to say, a few paragraphs about social energy are hardly sufficient to clearly explain the complicated relationship introverts have with their given state of 'limited social capacity'. So, here are some things to consider. There are those who think they're extroverts (and everyone else also thinks they're extroverts), but,...

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What makes a good movie?

The answer seems simple enough. Acting, plot, director's passion, suspense, special effects, you name it. When all of these meet at the peak of quality, a good movie dawns, does it not? Perhaps. But is not each of these qualities subject to debate? You may think the storyline of a movie superb in its execution, while I find it clichéd and overdone. In other words, each person has his or her own...

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"We're the same temperature now."

I have to report a crime. I… I've done something… terrible. Before you shun me into the mythical realm of sparkly people whose sole weakness is in the juncture between head and shoulders (who would have thought: without their heads, they're powerless!), and where awkward conversations abound because the focus of them is a girl who has one facial expression, zero personality, and an inability...

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Does Grammar really Matter?

Grammar and Punctuation1: a volatile blend of simplicity and complexity. Simple in purpose, yet horrendously difficult to master. Each one of us knows what the term means - it isn't rocket science - but when it comes to hearing its application, I oftentimes close my eyes, picturing a cave occupied by men and women. They wear the skins of primitive beasts, and their tools are a collection of stones...

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More Betterer

Let's face it. English is too damn demanding. We have to spell words, use commas and full stops, and then decide how many exclamation marks to use at the end of something remarkable!! And then that's not all. Nowadays we're having to contend with… with…  double superlatives! "Say what?" You ask, your tone aghast and your face warped with shock. Precisely. Let's be clear. Saying things...

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First World Angst

Today I experienced a bout of first world angst. It only lasted five seconds. After that I ate food, resolving all previous problems. Then tonight it happened again, this time for about thirty seconds - maybe more! For half a minute the entire world was against me. Of course, self-awareness yet prevailed, and here I now sit, writing this blog, twisting the truth to make a point. Oh, I've already...

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Grammar Matters, Otherwise You'd Still Say 'Brang'

Important: This post was originally a column written for Nexus - the University of Waikato's weekly magazine. However, it went unpublished because, I think, there wasn't enough room in this week's issue what with it being the last issue for the year. It's all wrap-everything-up themed, so they replaced my column with something way less cool (I read it, and decided it was way less cool). Since it...

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Movie Reviews with Matt: Looper

*Minor spoilers Ever wanted to go back in time? Well, news flash, it probably wouldn't work. But don't worry; it works in Looper because, in Looper, all the paradoxes that come with changing the past are completely pushed aside. Yes, they're entirely ignored in a film whose plot revolves around that very concept. But it's not all bad. In the end, you get a three-dimensional sci-fi flick about...

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Bad Endings

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Introverts 101

*Interlaced with helpful analogies and metaphors! Introverts are often misunderstood. I would know, because I'm one of them. But we're humans too, and like all human beings - regardless of gender, race or hair colour - we just want to be acknowledged. But how can we be acknowledged unless we're understood? Thus, I shall endeavour to explain, in a logical fashion, how introverts work based on...

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'Fun Size' chocolate, with added moral

Somewhere along the way, I seem to have overlooked something. I realise that language changes. 'Thus' and 'hence' are used interchangeably; 'whom' is pretty much a goner; and 'gotten', I'm still getting used to gotten. It makes me think of mutated cotton. But I'll get there.  What I don't get - what I'll never get - is something far graver than any of the aforementioned tweaks to the English...

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Ten Reasons Why You Should Own a Cheetah

"The lion is said to be majestic, the leopard ferocious and shrewd. But elegant and graceful best describes the cheetah." This gay marriage excuse for a debate has recently got me thinking: I want to own a cheetah! Here are ten reasons why you should own one, too. 1. The cheetah is the friendliest of all the big cats. 2. It's the only big cat that can't roar. It chirrups, mews and even...

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Whingebooking

A man once said, "No one sees your diary unless it's called Facebook; and if that's the case then don't expect to keep your friends."1 That man was me, and today it is these words upon which I wish to expand. To break it down: Facebook should not be used as a diary. You can get away with it once or twice, but, eventually, you'll lose your friends (or get your posts removed from the News Feed)....

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